BETTER THAN HAPPY – Episode 217

I listened to this podcast episode several months ago. And it was good – it was fine. But when Bryant and I started talking New Years resolutions yesterday, the podcast came back to mind, with a lot more power – I was, all of a sudden, a lot more interested in what Jody had to say about the power of coaching.

I like to think about these podcasts in that way. I listen to podcasts, several every day. And one particular podcast may or may not impact me at the moment, but, by putting these principles in my mind, they will serve me when I need them to serve me.

It works the same way with scriptures that I read, or General Conference talks that I listen to. Some have immediate impact on me, yes. But, more often than not, they are stored away in my mind, where I can access the words and the principles later, when I need it.

In church we attribute this ability to the Spirit. “The Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance” (John 14:26).

Bryant and I are so careful and intentional with what we put in our children’s minds. Probably ten years ago, we started memorizing one inspiring quote or scripture per week with the children. And if they memorized it and passed it off on Friday at the breakfast table, they could participate in Friday-night movie-night.

Over the years, we have memorized literally hundreds of inspirational thoughts and words from the scriptures. Do they understand what they are rattling off Friday morning? Does the two year old know what it means to “dream the impossible dream, to fight the unbeatable foe”? Probably not. We discuss it. But, really, they are learning these words rote.

But. The words are then in the children’s minds. And we pray that they are the words that come to the forefront of their minds when they are in need. We pray these words will serve our children well, their entire lives.

This is a long long way of introducing the podcast episode that is only now coming to the forefront of my own mind. The Power of Coaching, by Jody Moore.

“Two years ago, my life was so different and the one thing that got the ball rolling and started a domino of change in my life was I hired a coach.”

Remember that “amazing version of me, just around the corner”? Bryant and I intend this year to be a big year for changes. We are not moving houses. We are not having another child. We are not changing jobs. We are not even buying a new car. Rather, we intend to see these changes in ourselves.

“I think a lot of people think they already know all the things. I know how to eat. I know how to exercise. I know I’m supposed to love I’m supposed to forgive. I know all the things, why do I need a coach? 

You can’t read the label from inside the bottle… Let’s take a look at where you’re getting in your own way. The brain just wants to be right. I always say, we want to be right, more than we want to feel good, we want to be right more than we want to achieve our goals. So it IS possible to take a look at your own thoughts and question them. And we encourage our clients to do a lot of that. But certainly, I feel like there’s that last little 2%, 3% that, without a coach’s support and knowledge, is pretty tough to catch.”

Jody and April are having a discussion about coaching on this podcast. April started her journey with a food coach – a nutritionist. She shared:

“Once I found that I could change the way I thought about my food, I was like, maybe it’s possible for me to change other things in my life.”

What changes can happen in our lives? Isn’t it thrilling to think about? The sky is the limit! My habits. My wardrobe. My money mind-set. My body. My emotional well being. My relationships. My energy – my drive.

Bry wants a physical trainer for his weight lifting. I want a wardrobe stylist. I like my body, but I wish I could present it the same way I feel about it. Bry wants to finally learn how to drive his horses. Once and for all, instead of playing around with it and playing around with it. I want some help with creating the life experience that I want, which is, in some important ways, different than the life experience I am now living.

“I want you to imagine, if you hire an interior designer, you don’t want her to come in your house and go, ‘Everything looks good, I love what you’ve picked out. You’ve done a great job.’ You want her to say, ‘Well this part’s working well, but this part, I think, could be better, and this part, I think, is totally dysfunctional. We should totally change that,’ because that’s what you hired her for.

As a coach, I’m not there to be your sister or your friend. Hopefully you have one of those in your life. I’m there to show you the truth, which you’re going to thank me for later when we get the house cleaned up.”

So, what has stopped me from hiring out a “professional” in the past? Really it’s two things: Money and fear of failure – fear of paying out the money and then being disappointed with the results.

Let’s address those, right here.

Money. Yep, it costs money. It is “investing in (ourselves), and trying to believe in (ourselves)”. And it may not “pay off” the first time. It may not be the right match the first time we hire a coach. Or maybe even the second or fifth time. But, it gets us out! It gets us open to the idea!

“We’ve tried other things that didn’t work, whether it be that we’re trying to improve our marriage or lose weight, improve our mental and emotional health in some way. We avoid disappointment.

And what I like to teach people is … worst case scenario, you’re going to feel disappointed, which is just an emotion, which we will teach you how to deal with.

So, the alternative is that we stay … in the cave. ‘Let’s not go outside the cave because it’s scary out there. It’s dangerous out there. We don’t know what it’s going to be like. It might not work out like we wanted, so we’ll just stay in the cave.’

Now, if we never leave the cave, we don’t go explore the rest of the world. We don’t make our lives better. It’s the discomfort that gets us to a better life and a better situation.” 

________________________________

April closed with this tribute to Jody: “Because she was brave, it changed my life.” It is a brave thing to be willing to change – to try new things and take a chance on new people, to be willing to fail, in order to jettison us into change.

But that change will bless us. And it will bless our children who witness the struggle. And it will bless people we may not even know. “Because she was brave, it changed my life.”