BETTER THAN HAPPY – Episode 239
Let’s stick with love, yesterday’s topic. I have a lot to share with you from Jody Moore today. A lot. Stay with me. It is worth it.
“Emotions are something that we create with our thinking… And any emotion in the world is available to us at any given time.”
Jody starts off with the intent to convince us of that fact: Emotions are something that we create within us, by our thoughts. 100% of the time.
If you are not on board with that concept yet, here’s what she has to say:
“I could be standing in line at the DMV and any emotion I want to feel is available to me. Now, if I’m not (managing my thoughts), if I’m just letting my brain run on default, then standing in line at the DMV might be a (situation) where I would feel impatient or bored, or some other emotion like that. It wouldn’t be because I’m in line at the DMV, it would be because of what I’m thinking. ‘I’m never going to get out of here. This is going to throw off my whole day. There’s other things I need to be getting done right now. I don’t even know when I’m going to be up’. Notice they don’t use a linear, numerical numbering system. You don’t even know when it’s going to be your turn, right? All of those thoughts would create our emotions.
I want you to imagine that you’re … at the DMV and you’re feeling all those emotions because you’re thinking all those thoughts, and suddenly, you get a text from your spouse that says, ‘We just won $10,000,000 in the lottery’. Now, you’re still (waiting) at the DMV, you still don’t know when your turn is going to be, you still have all those other things on your to-do list, but you might start thinking something differently.
You might start feeling different emotions because of the different thoughts you’d be having. Maybe you would be excited, maybe you would be overwhelmed. Maybe you’d feel guilt because you don’t believe in gambling and you think you shouldn’t have been playing the lottery. Maybe you would feel a whole range of emotions, I don’t know.
My point is that you would still be in line, but you would be feeling something completely different if you got that kind of a text from your spouse.
It’s our thinking that creates our emotions. And notice how we have the capacity to be in a line in at the DMV and still feel extreme excitement. That doesn’t mean that you have to. It doesn’t mean that you want to, necessarily, feel those kinds of emotions in those kinds of situations, but I want you to know that all emotions are available to you at any time.”
In that scenario – in every scenario – we have different emotions we can choose from. And those emotions come from our thoughts alone.
“Let’s go back to our lottery example. Notice, we start feeling super excited (about winning) the lottery even though nothing’s changed. We don’t have any more money in our account yet, we haven’t bought anything yet, we haven’t done whatever we think we’re going to do with that money, it hasn’t even happened. But we’re super excited (by the thought of more money in our account or whatever we think we are going to do with the money).”
In this DMV/lottery example, we talk about different emotions: boredom, patience, excitement, etc. And I think there is room for these different emotions.
But know this: LOVE is the best emotion. “You are your best, most creative, most confident, most genius self when you’re operating in love.” I have used that quote more than any other in this ONE YEAR challenge. I am imagine I will use it another hundred times. I meditate it. I want to live it. I want to operate in love – I want to live in love.
What love IS: Let me tell you what love feels like to me. It feels as if my life is in absolute control, in the most out-of-my-hands way I can imagine. As if I cannot do or feel truly wrong – it isn’t possible. It feels like light – only no light I have ever seen with my eyes. It fills me. It then shoots out my eyes and my mouth and nearly my entire being. Remember Roald Dahl: “If you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams, and you will always look lovely.” That is love. .
“I think that it feels whole. It feels complete. I feel full, but not like the kind of full that I ate a lot food and now I’m full, but just full like there’s nothing missing. Nothing empty.”
What is love NOT: Positive feelings are not all love, even though love is a positive feeling. “Fun” is not love. “Excited” is not love. “Happy” is not love.
“Anticipation and excitement are different than love because behind anticipation and excitement is the thought, ‘I’m going to feel complete at some point,’ or, ‘I’m going to experience what I think I’m trying to experience, and then I’m going to feel full’. Anticipation and excitement are fun to feel, they’re highly energized emotions, nothing wrong with them, but they’re waiting for that thing. It’s like everything is going to be complete, I’m going to go on this vacation, or I’m going to do this thing. That’s not the same as, ‘Everything is complete right now’.”
Love is also not a dopamine hit. Those typically come from false-pleasures. Our brains want our false pleasures. They are pleasurable, right? And I think that’s okay. Compliments, “likes”, a new outfit from the store, whatever. But, understand this: they are not the “real thing”. They don’t feel full and peaceful and complete. They are a buffer. They are not love.
I think there is room for these feelings. I think these feelings can serve us. But none can serve us the way that the feeling of love can serve us. And that comes from US. That comes from OUR thoughts.
“I hear this a lot about mothers or mother-in-laws: ‘She just doesn’t really love me’. I’ll ask my client, ‘Who is that a bummer for?’. They always say, ‘It’s a bummer for me,’ and I say, ‘No. It’s not. It’s a bummer for her.’ That other person who’s not loving you is denying themselves of an experience that is amazing, that is us at our best as humans, that is us feeling complete and whole. That feeling is love, and they’re denying (themselves that feeling). When you love them more than they love you, you’re the lucky one. You win. You’re getting to feel love.”
Well, my friends. Can we feel this amazing amazing feeling all the time? I don’t. I don’t live in love all of every day. Jody points out, what would that look like? What would living in love 100% of the time look like? It would look like Christ. It would look like our Heavenly Father. It is where we are trying to get to, in this life.