THE LIFE COACH SCHOOL PODCAST – Episode 281
Every year, for Mother’s Day, I “gift” myself a new skill. Pastry baking, bearing my testimony in another language, quilting, tennis – actually that one didn’t stick. Nor did mosaic-ing. So be wary of asking me to hit a ball with you. Or to mosaic your front entrance.
This year I decided to take up the guitar. Someone help! Bry decided I should take up biking instead, I asked for battery-operated bike for my birthday. And, halfway up Quail Valley Drive, my birthday bicycle battery died. So … probably don’t ask me to go biking with you, either. But … si quieres comer un pastelito, puedes llamarme.
Today’s podcast episode has got to be one of my favorites. Really. I’ve sent it to a dozen friends. Bry has listened to it (and quotes it to me, to defend his actions…ha ha ha). Ella has sat and listened to it with me – twice through.
Today Brooke is talking about gifts to our future selves – using my future self as a tool to change my life, completely.
And there is not really anything I can add to Brooke’s words, other than my own thought work, so primarily, I will use her exact words from the podcast today.
“Your future self is yourself five minutes from now, tomorrow, five years from now, 10 years from now, 25 years from now, 30 years from now. When you think about your future self, you develop and establish a relationship with yourself in your future.”
Establish a relationship with your future self. She is not just inevitable, she can be a motivation for me now. Use her!
Write a letter from your future-self, to your self now. Write a letter from your self now, to your future-self. Ask for advice. Ask for encouragement. Etc.
“I always am imagining my future self as someone that knows more, that’s more experienced, that has more wisdom and has practiced more, has worked on her brain more, and learned more. And so I get so much wisdom from my future self.
…I spent a lot of time 10 years ago having a relationship with my future self and that’s who I am now. I am my future self to myself 10 years ago.
…I feel like I already know me because I already have a relationship with me. It’s amazing.”
While writing from your future self to your present self, it’s helpful to imagine where it is that she (future self) is coming from.
Where do I live. Where are the kids. Where is my husband. What do I look like. How much money do I have.
“Then, from that place, write a letter to yourself now. What would you say to yourself now. Take your time.”
Use your imagination. That is “the most important tool for you to hone in on. It determines your vision – it determines what you create” for yourself and for others in your life.
“How grateful I am and how gracious I am to my past self for creating this life for me that I’m currently living. I want to high-five myself for listening to my own advice, for doing what I told her to do. I’m so thankful and that relationship is so good… Your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship in your life… My past self hooked me up! She lost the weight. She quit drinking. So now I don’t have to. She set a business. She built a team. She saved money. She married Chris. She took care of her beautiful children. All these things I am so grateful to myself for! … And I want to feel that same way 10 years from now. I want to be thankful for my past self 10 years from now. So my focus right now is how can I pass that forward? How can I make that even better for my future self?”
What are the gifts I can give my future-self? And what if I think about her as more of a priority than my present self?
What are the gifts I am receiving right now from my past self?
- Rachel, thank you for learning the piano
- Thank you for serving a mission
- Thank you for marrying Bryant
- Thank you for moving to NYC
- Thank you for staying open to changes
What gifts do I want to GIVE my future self?
- Strong marriage
- Strong relationship with my children
- Early retirement
- Strengthened testimony
- Strong body
- Full head of hair
- Straightened leg/knee
- Guitar skills
- Self-coaching skills
Do you love her enough to give her those gifts? Can I make future-Rachel more of a priority than present-Rachel? What would that look like? Well, it looks a little bit boring, right now, right? It looks like me practicing the guitar and getting callouses on my fingers. It looks like me eating healthy and going to the gym, even when I am tired. It looks like hours or thought-work and thought downloads, and attending classes regularly. It looks like me being responsible now, and making conservative decisions around money now, to set my future-self up to reach my financial goals. It looks like me going to health checkups and flossing my teeth. That’s what it looks like to make future-Rachel a priority, now.
Let’s try this. Let’s look at what I want to do for myself right now, as a gift for 1-year-from-now-Rachel?
- Big family vacation
- I’m cutting my budget now so I can pay cash for the vacation next year.
- A stronger body and a healthier gut
- I am forming the habits now.
- Emotional maturity, more control over my thoughts/emotions/actions
- I’m blogging ONE YEAR every single day, no matter where I am physically, but also emotionally, etc. I am doing that right now for myself.
- A larger dining room table for entertaining more guests
One year from now, I want to have gifted myself a Christmas tree with working lights. Bryant and I have been picking the strands of old lights off our beautiful Christmas tree. This is taking hours and hours – literally, we are probably 8 hours into this project. And then we are going to take another twelve hours to painstakingly wrap each individual branch with new LED lights, so we won’t have to deal with this again, for many years to come. Quite the gift to our future selves, right?
Now, consider this:
“Think about your future-self as someone you love and care about. So many of us, what we do to our future-selves we would never do to our best friends. We would never do that to them. We’d never say that we were going to do something and then just not show up. We would never put them off and not contact them and ignore them the way that we do to our future self.”
I really want to think about this. Me in 12 weeks. Me in 12 months. What gifts do I want to give my 50-year-old-self? My 60-year-old-self? Early retirement? A Masters degree? A strong right knee? 100% positive relationships?
“I am the bridge right now between my past self and my future self. My past self has given me so much… I’m so thankful. But I’m also super excited about my future self.”
I want to keep going with this idea of my relationship with my future self. Look for more on this tomorrow.