Two principles taught today:


You are not the things that you do. It is important to know the difference. Motherhood is something that you do, not something that you are.

Why is it important to know the difference? Brooke suggests that, when we think of mothering as something we ARE, we are more easily shamed. Or, to the another extreme, we go on autopilot.

But when it is something we DO, we want to work at it.

“What I do, I can improve.”

Motherhood is something that you do. Very much in the same way that: “Love is not something you have, it’s something you do.”


As we nurture ourselves, we automatically learn to do the same for others – to mother others.

“Self-care is the skill of mothering yourself… A good mother knows what makes a child feel whole in every way. She develops a finely tuned sensor that lets her know what her children need. And using a loving discerning eye, does her best to meet those needs.”

What about mothering myself, first, as a precurser to mothering others? What do I need today? What foods will give my body what it needs? How much sleep would keep me healthy? Am I stretching myself too thin?

Ella and I have these talks, frequently, about her and her teenage life. Are you eating the right things? Are you sleeping enough hours? Are you surrounding yourself with people who lift you? Are you trying to do too much?

Can I have these conversations with myself, daily – mother myself, daily.

Resentment is when I have neglected mothering myself. And resentment is not a space I want to come from, in mothering my children.

Try this. Meditate, five minutes every day, saying to yourself: “I love and accept you.”

“The most important thing I have ever done for mothering my own children well has been learning how to mother myself in a loving and nurturing way. I cannot overstate the connection here. Mothering yourself with love will grow your skill of ‘mothering’ more than anything else I have found thus far.”

Bare bones today. It is late. “I love and accept you, Rachel.”

Previous DAY #38 SO WHAT


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