BETTER THAN HAPPY – Episode 150
In my morning prayers this today, my heart starting beating hard, with gratitude. And it was not because gratitude was my attitude this morning. Not because it was even on my mind at all. But it felt like a gift from the Lord – a desire to be grateful today. And all day long I’ve found so many reasons to be grateful.
I am, firstly, grateful that it is only Tuesday. Let’s lengthen out this week before Christmas!
I am grateful for the gift my husband is to me.
I am grateful for a safe place to sit in my discomfort, to question my fears, and to wrestle with negative emotions.
I am grateful for this classroom called “life”.
I am grateful for my body, the way I am grateful for the people in my life. This only occurred to me today, actually. Each part of my body works together to enable me to be and do what I want so much to be and do.
Some of my body parts don’t work the way I think they should. My gut. My doctor has been working with me for over two years now, to heal my gut.
My right knee grinds. It has had issues since my marathon, over four years ago.
And my eye site is getting worse.
But then I look at what my gut has done for me, without any effort on my part, in fact. It has functioned and served me very very well, even when I did not do the same for it. I am so grateful for the part it has in my life, be it what it will.
And my knee – that cranky grinding knee – has run hundreds of miles for me.
My eyes. What would I do without these eyes. I have taken advantage of them, left them unprotected in the sun. I don’t go in for eye-checkups. And I don’t eat my carrots. (Do you remember that…when you were young were you always told to eat your carrots for your eyes?)
I am so grateful – grateful to tears – for my body. The parts that I understand and see working to serve me, as well as the parts I don’t understand – the parts that cause me discomfort.
What about the people in my life? Can I be grateful for ALL the people in my life in the same way I am grateful for all the parts of my body? The people that I understand and love and am so incredibly grateful for. As well as the people that haven’t been what I thought they ought to be. The people that I don’t understand or the people who even grind on me painfully. Is it possible that ALL the people in my life are, in whatever way they come, enabling me to be and do what I truly desire to be and do?
Jody Moore poses the question: What makes someone lovable? What makes someone worthy of my love, worthy of my gratitude? My gut reaction (see…my gut IS working for me…ha ha ha) is that someone is more lovable if they are selfless and kind, when they help me see myself as lovable.
Ready for this gem?!
“What truly makes someone lovable to you is that YOU CHOOSE TO LOVE THEM. That’s it!”
What makes someone meritorious of gratitude is that I CHOOSE TO BE GRATEFUL FOR THEM.
If I love my body, it really has nothing to do with my body. My body is neutral. My body is a circumstance in the model. Rather, it has everything to do with me and my perception of my body.
If I love the people in my life, it has nothing to do with them. It has everything to do with my ability to love them – my capacity to love.
Loving someone is a reward for ME.
I used Bryant as an example before, to understand this principle. Bryant may choose to do something that I asked him to do earlier in the day. He may choose to do that because he loves me – because that is the kind of spouse that he wants to be. But HE feels the love he is offering me. HE gets to feel that love – it is a reward to HIM for offering it! Not me. I only get to feel that love from him if I choose to think thoughts that lead me to that emotion: “He really loves me” or “He really has my back” or “Bryant is an incredible husband”.
In the exact same way, I get to feel the love when I offer that love. It is then a reward to ME. And Bry can choose to feel my love if he thinks loving thoughts about my offering. But when I give love, I am the one who gets to feel that emotion. Does this make sense?
Let me tell you what loving someone feels like to me. It feels as if my life is in absolute control, in the most out-of-my-hands way I can imagine. As if I cannot do or feel truly wrong – it isn’t possible. It feels like light – only no light I have ever seen with my eyes. It fills me. It then shoots out my eyes and my mouth and nearly my entire being. Remember Roald Dahl: “If you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams, and you will always look lovely.” That is love. And when I choose to love someone I AM THE ONE WHO GETS TO FEEL THAT LOVE.
“Love is always going to serve you best. It is going to create your best results for yourself because … it’s going to drive your best action. You are your best, most creative, most confident, most genius self when you’re operating in love.”
Let’s talk more about our love capacity tomorrow. But let me close with this:
“You will feel loved if you choose to think loving thoughts about you, and you will feel love if you choose to think loving thoughts about others. And the more often you do those two things, the more amazing your life will become! …When all the people around you become more easy for you to love, imagine what your experience of the world will become! Off the charts, my friend!”