THE LIFE COACH SCHOOL BROADCAST – Episode 288
My 14 year old came home from a church youth activity in tears. “Mom. I just don’t fit in.” She cried for a good hour. And I sat and listened, not sure how to help.
I read a blogpost written by another parent. He counsels, “Don’t teach your children to ‘fit in’. Teach them to find the ‘right fit’.”
Let’s look at “Butterflies Walking”.
Brooke had recently noticed a butterfly trying to walk. She said it was awkward, even painful to watch. It could fly – it flew away when she approached it. But not before then. The butterfly was determined to walk. No matter how hard the work was. She then said to us:
“If you are struggling and trying to hustle your way through the struggle, imagine yourself as a butterfly trying to walk HARDER. Are you hustling and pushing and getting more and more exhausted and not getting anywhere? Are you trying to (be like) everyone around you (walking)? You are probably a butterfly walking.”
Do you feel awkward in your life? Are you trying hard to be something that you are not? If you are meant to fly, there is not a right way to walk!
“Getting better at walking doesn’t make you a better flyer … You are not going to get better at walking because you have big huge wings. You are meant to be flying.
Everything you are good at right now has gotten you to this point. You were the very best caterpillar you could have been. Its time to fly.
But you can’t use anything you’ve learned about walking to fly.
You have to give up who you are to be who you want to be. And if you have spent a lot of time getting really good at walking, you’re not going to want to give it up.”
Transforming ourselves is not the same as “getting better” or “making improvements”. If you are ready to transform, release what was. Release what you’ve been, even though it has gotten you this far. Metamorphosis.
I want to spend the rest of the blogpost talking about a friend I’ve seen, who was willing to transform – she was willing to give up walking. She knew – or maybe just hoped – that she was meant to fly!
Shannon Weir was living her life the best she could. Loving her husband, raising her babies, working, trying to make ends meet. Walking. She’d been taught to walk. She’s gotten pretty far in her life walking. Then she got a vision of what she could be:
Dental school was never in the plans for me. I came from a very poor family, and I was taught from a young age that college would be out of reach for me and I would be better off getting a good job and working hard. Going to college was impossible for me at that time because I couldn’t pay for it on my own. I wasn’t even able to access financial aid opportunities because my parents had not done their taxes in years and had no income accountability.
So I did as I was taught and worked hard until the year I turned 24 and I could apply for financial aid autonomously. I enrolled in school with the goal of earning my dental hygiene degree. In high school I was a “C” student, at best. But in college, my love for education blossomed, and I thrived. After finishing my dental hygiene program.
After about 3 years of working, I was pregnant with my 2nd baby and I had an opportunity to go on a month long dental service mission with Deseret Charities to Kiribati. That experience changed the trajectory of my life in a way I didn’t expect. A seed was planted in my heart, and I couldn’t get rid of the feeling that I needed to go back to school.
It was about 6 months of sleeplessness, ruminating on these thoughts before I voiced them to my husband. The very idea of going back to school seemed ridiculous. But when I told him, all he said was “let’s pray about it together and see how we feel.” I was a little annoyed – I wanted someone to talk some sense into me.
After we both felt right about it, I registered for school and began the life changing transformation that would eventually lead me to where I am now and where I am going next.
Nothing has been easy. After years of hard work and sacrifice, all of it was about to pay off. I was nearing the end of my second to last semester of undergrad. In a matter of 3 days I was hoping to find out I got into the school of my dreams, take my finals, and then have my 3rd beautiful baby. Followed by a month of break from school where I could just snuggle my newborn.
My baby was born with a life limiting catastrophic epilepsy and his time on earth with us is going to be cut short. Suddenly the decision to accept an offer to attend The University of Utah School of Dentistry wasn’t an easy one. We again had to pray about what to do next. We both decided to stay the course and trust in the Lords timing.
My life is segmented now. There was the life I knew before Loyal, and the life I live now after Loyal. It’s as if I was reborn when he was born. I never understood why I was being prompted to further my education until I decided to pursue a specialization in special needs dentistry. It was as if a puzzle was finally complete. All of the doors I had been walking through finally lead me to the place I was meant to find. This is how I am going to share my talents. This is how I am going to walk the path of discipleship of Christ.
“Spend the rest of your life flying.”