DAY #91 WHY CHANGE IS HARD (again)


THE LIFE COACH SCHOOL – Episode 266

Let’s talk about change. Yesterday we didn’t touch on change, even though it’s the subject of the podcast cited. We spent our whole time on our future-selves.

What does my future-self have to do with change – or rather, what does change have to do with my future-self? Well. I am not my future-self today. I am not showing up in the world the way I know I can, and I will, in the future.

I will need to CHANGE – my thoughts will need to change, my feelings will need to change, my actions will need to change, and my results will change.

“We’re going to talk about why change is so hard… No matter what it is, if it’s different than what you have now, most likely it’s hard.

The reason why most people don’t change, we don’t turn into the better version of ourselves, is because we don’t want to do hard things. We don’t want to be uncomfortable.”

One of my favorite lines from Brooke Castillo:

“DISCOMFORT IS THE CURRENCY OF MY DREAMS.”

We are having the children memorize that quote this week. Every week Bryant and I have the children memorize an inspirational quote or a scriptures or a song, to be passed off on Fridays, to qualify for Friday-night movie-night. I want this quote in their “stores”. I want this quote to come to mind when they are struggling with the discomfort that is part of life.

50/50 right? Life is 50% comfortable, 50% uncomfortable. No matter who we are, our education, our family life, our marriage status, our job, our religion, whatever. 50/50.

So when we are in the 50% uncomfortable, that’s okay. Nothing has gone wrong. It has always been 50/50. But that 50% discomfort can be used to serve you, or not. It could go either way.

“The discomfort that you have when you’re growing is different than the discomfort you have from not fulfilling your potential.”

We could use the 50 uncomfortable to feel bad for ourselves or feel guilty over the false pleasures we used to try and get out of this 50 uncomfortable, or we could use that 50 uncomfortable on uncomfortable improvement.

Are you following me here? The 50/50 of our life could be 50 beating ourselves up, and 50 seeking false pleasures. Or you and I could change that. The 50/50 could be 50 discomfort of growth – the deliberate discomfort of changing your life on purpose – and 50 achieving your wildest dreams.

“It’s still 50/50. It’s just a different flavor of 50/50.”

“Your life’s still going to be 50/50. You’re going to be uncomfortable either way. So … you might as well see what the heck you can do with this lifetime! You might as well blow your own mind! Make the change that you want to see.”

I want that change. I want to see and be the better version of myself.

One of the reasons change is hard is because we have to let go of our “villains”.

“I had villains. I wanted to keep them as villains. I had this struggle that defined my life. It was very challenging to let it go…

When you’ve had the same thought for a long time and that thought is familiar and that thought feels good to you and you’ve relied on that thought for so many years, letting go of it is like letting go of a friend. It’s like letting go of your own little wubby, your own stuffed animal. Don’t underestimate how hard that is.”

Another reason change is hard is because we have to let go of OURSELVES. We cannot keep one foot in our old-self and one foot in our future-self. It is the butterfly shedding her entire body to grow a new, more powerful, more beautiful body. It is the changed Anti-Nephi-Lehis burying – literally burying in the ground – their weapons of war, the physical manifestations of their inward old-self desires. It is the trees in the Fall, shedding ALL their leaves, not holding on, hoping that their dead leaves will somehow serve them again in the future. They shed ALL their leaves, knowing their future-self will be worth it!

“You are 100% acceptable the way you are, 100% worthy the way you are. The reason why I recommend that you embrace discomfort and growth and see what you can do in this world is (not because it will make you more worthy or more lovable), but because it’s so much fun. Showing yourself what you’re capable of is the biggest thrill in the world. It is better, my friends, stay with me, way better than Game of Thrones.

Going out there and being who you want to be in the world is a way more exciting than watching someone else have an amazing life on TV.

But there’s a price to pay, of course. You have to pay the price of discomfort. You know that run’s going to be hard, you know it’s going to be hard to write that book … but you look forward to the discomfort because you love what’s on the other side of that, and that becomes your new thrill in life.”

“Change requires believing in something beyond evidence. You have to keep your thoughts, feelings, and actions on the result you want and not the result that you have.” It means becoming my future-self today. Thinking those thoughts today:

  • I will be thinking, every day, Everything in life is rigged in my favor!
  • I will be thinking, regularly, about the bountiful blessings in my life.
  • I will be thinking, My children are exactly who they are supposed to be. Nothing has gone wrong here. They have individual missions here on earth, and THIS is part of it – it is all part of it.
  • I will be thinking more about what I can do to help Bry.
  • I will be thinking about the next uncomfortable thing that I can do, what next dream can I reach.
  • In “that life” I will be praying: More holiness give me. More strivings within. More patience in suffering. More sorrow for sin. More joy in His service. More purpose in prayer. More gratitude give me. More trust in the Lord. More pride in His glory. More tears for His sorrows. More meekness in trial. More purity give me. More strength to overcome. More fit for the kingdom. More used would I be.

“That’s what makes life so magical to me. Not because we’re humans just suffering on the planet but because we’re humans creating our experience in life.”

 

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