THE NEXT BEST THING – Episode 112
A quick one today. Last night I woke up with a muscle spasm in my neck. Bry stayed home through the morning, to help me to the chiropractors and to help with the children. He said he thinks it came from my hovering over my laptop everyday, blogging. Maybe. So, today is a quick one.
Two words to avoid.
A few times this week, I’ve thought back on some counsel I received a month or so ago: “Words are powerful”. The phrase came to mind when I was using my words without a lot of thought – unintentionally. I was using words to destroy, rather than to build. I stopped myself. I sat alone, actually, and had a good think. Then I decided to intentionally change my words.
Negative words can create a negative relationship, even when those words aren’t spoke to the person. And so can positive. Right? As a floor, I can, daily, and out loud, speak kind and intentional words about a family member, or about a friend that I want to improve my thoughts about.
What about the words I say about myself or my work or my art? When I use the word “just”, what is the message I am reinforcing in me? “Words are powerful”.
It’s just a blog I’ve been working on. I’m just a mom. I am just his wife. It is just a piece of music I’ve been trying to learn to play. Here’s just a little gift I’ve been working on.
Word #1: JUST
“Your bedtucking, room-cleaning, budget-balancing, yard-raking, dinner-making, regular life is also your bridge-building, freedom-fighting, safety-making, soul-nourishing, gospel-preaching, courage-teaching, artful life. There’s no such thing as just. You are living art today.”
I am a mom. I am not “just” a mom. I am a wife. I am not “just” a wife. I love the line on The Incredibles. “I am your wife! I am the greatest good you are ever gonna get!”
Why? Because MARRIAGE MATTERS.
Word #2: THING
Bryant has this horse-thing he’s into.
Is that your project thingy you’ve been working on?
Are you still into that meditation thing?
“‘Thing’ is a word we use when we don’t know what other word to use. It subtly implies worthlessness, and casually dismisses what someone has worked hard to build. Even though it isn’t our intention, using the word ‘thing’ when we’re talking about someone’s work, or their role, or their art, it feels disrespectful to them…
Maybe it’s better to err on the side of curiosity. Maybe it’s better to assume that our friends and family members are more scared than they’re letting on.”
I want to remember this. I want to be careful in using my words, intentionally. “The words we speak, create!”
“Maybe one way we can support and respect the work we do is to stop using the word just, and one way we can support the pursuits of others is to enter into conversation with them with a spirit of curiosity rather than assumption, no matter how much we may not understand what they’re doing.”
I am 100% lovable, just the way I am. I am 100% worthy, just the way I am.
I am a good mom, I am an intentional mom, and my work matters.
Bryant is a wonderful husband, and his life, his work, his interests, his hopes, his dreams matter to me.
She is beautiful. And she has beautiful desires. What she does matters, to her and to those she blesses.
He is kind. He is good. He is worthy. He matters to me.
She is consistently a helper, a builder, a create-er. And her work matters in this world.