DAY #163 BODY IMAGE


THE LIFE COACH SCHOOL – Episode 245

There are a lot of memes and social media comments right now about the weight we’re gaining while we’re in quarantine. We have the food. We have the time. The gyms are closed. Our stress is high. Whatever it is, a lot of people are expressing their concern about the weight they’re gaining right now.

Now, we probably aren’t really eating all our snacks in one single night, but for most of us, we are eating differently than normal.

I guess the question is this: Is it a problem? Is being five pounds heavier a problem? And maybe it is a problem, if there are health issues. But maybe it isn’t a problem. Will it affect your worth? No. That’s set. Will it affect your happiness? The number on the scale is a neutral circumstance, right? It’s only our thoughts about the number of the scale that can affect our feelings. We know that.

I am just offering something to think about – maybe look at this in a different way. What thoughts about weight gain are not serving you well?

Here is one: I will be happier when I get skinnier.

Is that thought serving you well at all? No. It doesn’t at all reflect reality.

“Thinness and happiness have nothing to do with each other. One has to do with how much tissue you have on your body and one has to do with the nature of your mind.”

Here is another one: I can punish myself into losing weight.

Does that work at all? Sure, it can. But, I promise you, “as soon as you’re in a hurry to lose weight, you’re doing it wrong. As soon as you are trying to loath yourself into losing weight, you’re doing it wrong. Even if you’re successful.”

I cannot overstate this truth:

“I have seen (people approach weight loss) with an attitude of resistance and resentment and self-loathing. And I have seen people approach weight loss from a place of love and care and allowing and compassion. And I want to tell you, one of those ways is the RIGHT way, one of those ways is the WRONG way… The RIGHT way is filled with love. And the WRONG way isn’t… The underlying emotion, that underlying feeling will be compassion, unconditional love, self-acceptance, determination, discipline. But mostly, it will be love.”

http://livingandtravelingwithkids.com/2019/12/day-51-weight-loss-the-right-way-vs-the-wrong-way/

Is this principle a true principle outside of weight loss? Let’s try it:

  • I have seen people approach REPENTANCE with an attitude of resistance and resentment and self-loathing. And I have seen people approach REPENTANCE from a place of love and care and allowing and compassion. And I want to tell you, one of those ways is the right way, one of those ways is the wrong way… The right way is filled with love. And the wrong way isn’t… The underlying emotion, that underlying feeling will be compassion, unconditional love, self-acceptance, determination, discipline. But mostly, it will be love.
  • I have seen people approach BUDGETING with an attitude of resistance and resentment and self-loathing. And I have seen people approach BUDGETING from a place of love and care and allowing and compassion. And I want to tell you, one of those ways is the right way, one of those ways is the wrong way… The right way is filled with love. And the wrong way isn’t… The underlying emotion, that underlying feeling will be compassion, unconditional love, self-acceptance, determination, discipline. But mostly, it will be love.
  • I have seen my children approach DOING THEIR HOUSE CHORES with an attitude of resistance and resentment and self-loathing. This looks like, I am no good at this! Or This isn’t fair! And I have seen my children approach DOING THEIR HOUSE CHORES from a place of love and care and allowing and compassion. This looks like honest effort, it looks like music playing in the background, and each child helping the other, as they can. And I want to tell you, one of those ways is the right way, one of those ways is the wrong way… The right way is filled with love. And the wrong way isn’t… The underlying emotion, that underlying feeling will be compassion, unconditional love, self-acceptance, determination, discipline. But mostly, it will be love.

I wanted to go on that tangent for a minute today. And I think we can find a lot of other applications. Where are we coming from? Where are we starting from? And, if we haven’t started with love, can we get there now? And, if we can’t is it worth it, at all?

End of tangent. Let’s get back to weight loss.

“When you love your body now, you want to put healthy energizing food into it… You will stay committed with love, not with fear.”

http://livingandtravelingwithkids.com/2019/12/day-51-weight-loss-the-right-way-vs-the-wrong-way/

I think we need to really consider and do some thoughtwork around this: Is our weight really a problem at all? And if we decide that we would like to change our life experience by losing weight, can we do so with love? Can we love our body to health?

“I think that so many of us have the same story. I think it’s passed on, generation after generation – this idea that our bodies aren’t acceptable and we should be thinner, and if we were thinner, we’d be more acceptable, we’d be more loved, we’d be better, we’d be more attractive… We are so conditioned to think that thin is everything we want in life.”

Bry and I were in the bedroom this morning, discussing Brooke’s podcast on body image, and discussing what values we are offering our children – intentionally or unintentionally. Ella came into the room. I was curious what she saw – what values did she see us offering her and the other children, especially surrounding body image. So I asked her.

“I think you value hardwork. Intelligence. Being healthy. I think you do value being skinny, too. You exercise and eat healthy, and all your friends are skinny.”

Interesting, right?

I had to think about that – all day, in fact. What values do I want to intentionally offer my children? How well am I doing at that? How closely are my children watching my interactions with myself, with Bryant, and even with my friends?

What message am I sending my children, particularly my daughters?

“I plead with you, please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style, with a little less longing to look like someone else. We are all different. Some are tall, and some are short. Some are round, and some are thin. And almost everyone at some time or other wants to be something they are not!

…You are literally a spirit daughter of heavenly parents with a divine nature and an eternal destiny. That surpassing truth should be fixed deep in your soul and be fundamental to every decision you make as you grow into mature womanhood. There could never be a greater authentication of your dignity, your worth, your privileges, and your promise. Your Father in Heaven knows your name and knows your circumstance. He hears your prayers. He knows your hopes and dreams, including your fears and frustrations. And He knows what you can become through faith in Him.”

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2005/10/to-young-women?lang=eng
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