It’s been another dark week for me. I went in on Wednesday to see a new doctor who will be doing some blood work on me. And I think seeing the results of the blood tests will be helpful. But there are some things I can struggle through on my own. And I am learning a lot from really considering what I can do on my own.
Remember. I have this belief that everything in life is rigged in my favor. Even dark days. I think they can be an opportunity to look closer at what is going on with my body, with my brain, maybe to see habits or thought patterns that I want to get rid of, that maybe I didn’t notice before.
I am keeping the data. Every day. For three months, right? And these dark days may tell me more – they may give me more data – than the bright days can.
Well, let’s do this. What did I get out of this week’s posts?
“Embrace your sacred memories. Believe them. Write them down. Share them with your family. Trust that they come to you from your Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son.”https://livingandtravelingwithkids.com/2020/05/day-spiritually-defining-moments-3/
When my days seem dark, it directly correlates with a focus on dark memories. And we all have dark memories. Hard times, dark times, are part of the human experience. And we wouldn’t want it any other way – we want the whole human experience!
But we also all have sacred, inspiring memories, too – spiritually defining moments. Life is 50/50. And that means it is an option to choose those inspiring memories to focus on, and to let influence our hours, our days, our weeks, right? It is an option.
“This journey is more like a scavenger hunt than a treasure hunt.”https://livingandtravelingwithkids.com/2020/05/day-207-learn-by-experience/
I want to scavenge for little bits and pieces, “here a little, there a little”, that will help me grow and progress and become.
And I can have big goals – treasures I hope to find at the end of the struggle. But “arriving” there is not the point of the struggle. I can find courage and encouragement by the little “wins” along the way. The lessons that I learn are maybe more valuable than the end result.
I think of Oliver Granger, a Methodist preacher who converted to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, back when the church was first established in the 1800’s. Oliver became a missionary, and then the church’s agent in settling the church’s debts in Missouri when the rest of the church membership moved west. A difficult assignment, right?
“I remember my servant Oliver Granger … let him contend earnestly for the redemption of the First Presidency of my Church, saith the Lord…”https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/117?lang=eng
And then the next part of this prophecy concerning this good and able man:
“And when he falls he shall rise again, for his sacrifice shall be more sacred unto me than his increase, saith the Lord.”https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/dc-testament/dc/117?lang=eng
The experience – the “sacrifice” – is more sacred than his increase, or his success. Is that not how it is with me? The process, the experience, my sacrifices and my effort are more sacred to the Lord than the treasure that I prayerfully aspire to at the end of the struggle. Those experiences are the treasure!
“I can see, in my life, when I do humble myself and really see myself from another, less flattering point of view, it is then that I find where it is that I can improve. The opportunity to apologize is a gift to me, and to my future self. There are times I have seen my shortcomings, by myself. There are times that I have asked someone I know and trust where it is I could improve. It feels uncomfortable when someone comes to us, unprompted, and tells us where they think we need to change, or they tell us how we have hurt them. But, again, if I can humble myself to really consider how I have shown up and who I really want to be, this person is offering me a gift. And an opportunity to apologize.”https://livingandtravelingwithkids.com/2020/05/day-208-how-to-apologize-and-why-it-matters/
When Bry got home from work one evening this week, he shared with me an apology he’d heard that day, from an executive to an employee. It was incredibly kind, incredibly appropriate. After listening to Brene’s podcast, I have been more aware of apologies around me – really beautiful apologies as well as really poor apologies. And, not in a way to judge the one apologizing, but to notice and to learn, Oh, that’s what it looks like.
“In order to apologize, a person needs a big platform of self-worth to stand on. And when they are standing on that higher platform, they can look at their mistakes and see those mistakes as part of being human…
The ones who do the greatest harm to us are the least able to apologize because they stand on a small rickety platform of self-worth, and they’re not able to see the bad things they’ve done as just a part of the complexity of being human. They collapse into shame.”
We can apologize for what we do, but we can’t apologize for what we are. So, if the one who hurt us is under the false belief that what they do bad means that they are bad – if they can’t separate those two things – then, of course, I am not going to get an apology from them.
“The willingness to apologize and make amends is such a function of self-worth. The higher the self-worth, the higher the self-respect, the greater the willingness to apologize and make amends.”
Yes! Overnight oats for breakfast tomorrow!
Enjoy the weekend!