DAY #220 SO WHAT


Earlier this week our neighbor invited us to swim in her pool. We took her up on the offer, and we brought another family with us. It was so fun. Shortly before we left, the father of the other family got off work early and joined us in the pool. The children were thrilled! Dads are always more fun in the pool than moms. He was throwing them and cheering them and chasing them. And he also wanted to use that time to teach them. He helped his 7 year old son to the edge of the pool, then tried to get him to swim out to him. The 7 year old was so nervous – almost to tears. After some coaxing and some serious encouragement, the boy determined that he was now ready. And the words that he next called out to his dad have stuck with me, all week long: “Dad, be ready!”

The boy knew he would sink. He knew, even though he’d practiced over and over again, that he couldn’t yet swim. But he was trusting his dad’s love, and his dad’s saving arm. “Dad, be ready!”

And Dave was ready.

And not just for this child, but the other children who were more skilled in the water, would come up out of the water, always looking for Dave, as well.

I think of the scary things I have been working on over the past 218 days – thoughts I hadn’t before wanted to consider, responsibility it took courage to take on, help I have needed to ask for, etc. It has been uncomfortable, and it has, at times, been scary.

This week I invited myself to look at some things from my childhood – some thought patterns that for whatever reason were formed early in my life, that are not at all serving me. I was invited by my life coach to revisit some of those earlier “snags”, and witness the pain and offer acceptance to my child-self in pain. And it’s scary. And, in prayer, I called out to my Heavenly Father: “Father, be ready!” I will sink some, I will struggle for my life, or it will feel like that’s what’s happening, anyway. Be ready to catch me and to pull me up when I am in over my head, until I learn to be okay sinking a little, until I gain the skills to pull myself back up, always in search of Thee.

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