Learning what my lower brain is actually saying to me – it’s important.
When I married Bryant, I married into a strong family – and a strong willed family. I received lots of suggestions about how I could be a good wife to Bryant. And it was all with good intentions, of course. But what I thought I heard my brain saying to me at the time was this: This is not good. You do not like this. You do not like them.
With some thoughtwork, I learned to better understand my brain, and specifically, the language of my lower brain. And now I can see that my lower brain, the part of my brain designed to protect me, was really saying: You are in danger. Rachel Holmes is in danger. Rachel Holmes is about to be exiled and replaced with Rachel Blanchard.
That was my lower brain working really really well, to try and protect me by leading me to negative thoughts. And with those thoughts, of course the feelings that followed were negative. My actions were defensive, and the results were not what I had wanted for myself as a married woman.
What else is my brain telling me, that I am misinterpreting? What about yesterday’s discussion about dopamine? Bry and I were discussing it again last night. A lot of times when I post on FaceBook, and I go back several times the next hour, just to see how many likes I’ve gotten – to get that dopamine hit, right? – my lower brain starts saying to me, That post wasn’t any good since you only got 100 likes. You are not very good at this. And now you have the proof.
But maybe that is a misinterpretation of the message my lower brain is really trying to communicate. Maybe it’s saying, You need these people to like you, to sustain you, to protect you. You need those likes.
Maybe if I can better understand the purpose of my lower brain, to protect me, to keep me alive, etc, maybe I can better interpret the messages it is communicating to me. I can take the shame out of its messages to me.
It’s not saying, You are not good.
It’s saying, You need this to protect you. This is important.
And then I can decide, using my higher brain, if it really is important. If I really do need those likes.
How would it serve me to learn the language of my brain, and better understand what is really going on in there?
Just something that has been on my mind this morning.