DAY #287 SO WHAT


I want to look back and use SO WHAT SATURDAY to do some of the thoughtwork we mentioned but skipped over in DAY #283. Let’s look at this:

“One of the exercises Suzy and Brooke both suggest we do is writing out 20 things that you really want. And so many of us can’t even do that. We don’t know what it is that we want. If the sky’s the limit, what is it that I want?”

  1. I want Bryant as my husband, and a very loving, secure relationship with him
  2. I want a positive relationship with my children
  3. I want 100% positive relationships in my life
  4. I want to be healthy
  5. I want money
  6. I want to go back to Africa
  7. I want to be a good cook
  8. I want a Masters degree
  9. I want to be published
  10. I want to have designed my home
  11. I want to speak another language
  12. I want to be able to sail
  13. I want to be able to travel
  14. I want to be a missionary for the Church
  15. I want to be well spoken
  16. I want to feel secure
  17. I want to have charity – not just give it
  18. I want to live an inspired life
  19. I want freedom – financial, emotional, etc
  20. I want to be a true friend

This is what I came up with without really thinking much about it. But it’s down – I’ve made the list. And that is a big first step. I think the second step would be to do some thoughtwork around the things on this list. What feeling is it that I am trying to feel by acquiring these things that I want? Really important work. And then, third, decide if I like my reason for wanting these things. Do they represent who it is that I want to be? This is really important work, my friends.

And this might seem a bit laborious. But in writing it all out, I am looking for patterns, recurring needs, etc. This is important work. What is the feeling that I am hoping to feel by getting what I want:

  1. I want Bryant as my husband.
    • FEELINGS: Security, love, peace, unity
  2. I want a positive relationship with my children.
    • FEELINGS: Security, love, peace, unity
  3. I want 100% positive relationships in my life
  4. I want to be healthy.
    • FEELINGS: Security, capability
  5. I want money.
    • FEELINGS: Security, freedom
  6. I want to go back to Africa.
    • FEELINGS: Nostalgia, purpose, love
  7. I want to be a good cook.
    • FEELINGS: Purpose
  8. I want a Masters degree.
    • FEELINGS: Purpose, usefulness, security, inspired
  9. I want to be published.
    • FEELINGS: Worth, accomplishment
  10. I want to have designed my home
    • FEELINGS: Satisfaction, excitement, challenge
  11. I want to speak another language
    • FEELINGS: Satisfaction, accomplishment
  12. I want to be able to sail
    • FEELINGS: Excitement, freedom, strength
  13. I want to be able to travel
    • FEELINGS: Excitement, freedom, inspired, humility and gratitude
  14. I want to be a missionary for the Church
    • FEELINGS: Inspired, selfless, humility and gratitude, useful to the Lord
  15. I want to be well spoken
    • FEELINGS: Worth, accomplishment, inspired
  16. I want to feel secure
  17. I want to have charity – not just give it
    • FEELINGS: Inspired, love, loved, useful to the Lord
  18. I want to live an inspired life
  19. I want freedom – financial, emotional, etc
  20. I want to be a true friend
    • FEELINGS: Love, loved, gratitude, accepted, inspired, unity

Can you see some recurring themes here? What three or four feelings are driving what I want? A feeling of being inspired, love, security, freedom, purpose. There are others. These just stand out to me.

Do I like this about myself? Do I like that, at this point, I think being well-spoken would make me feel more worthy? Fascinating, right? Could I do the thoughtwork to feel these feelings before accomplishing these things? And, if this were the case, why then would I want to accomplish these things? Really good questions.

And I think the answer is this: If I feel love and loved before being a true friend, I will be approaching that friendship from a place of abundance rather than from a place of unmet needs. I would want to be that friend because it would be the most natural response to what I was already feeling.

If I feel humility and gratitude before traveling the world, I will be traveling and experiencing different cultures from a place of abundance and curiosity and appreciation, rather than from a place of Okay Madagascar, humble me!

If I feel satisfied with myself and a respect for who I am and what I have already accomplished before I learn a second language, I will be learning that language from a place of enjoyment and curiosity and maybe even humor, rather than from a place of pressure. My nephew, Max, is the perfect example of this! He was called to serve as a missionary for the Lord Jesus Christ in Thailand. He will leave in 9 weeks, I think, and he has those 9 weeks to learn the language. Max is the kind of teenager who really likes himself. Not in a selfish or self-centered way at all. He is comfortable in his own skin. And he is more able to love himself and love others around him because of this. There isn’t a teenager in the world like Max. And his approach to learning Thai is intense – he started weeks before the official training started – but from a place of joy and excitement and even humor. He is trying out some pretty funny lines on his teachers at the Missionary Training Center. His mom called me with one of his stories, and I laughed until I cried. And so did she. And, get this, so does Max.

Previous DAY #286 FRIDAY FITNESS AND HEALTH
Next DAY #288 SOMETHING BETTER

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