Today we didn’t have a list of activities to do or to get to. So I decided that we should focus on jobs around the house. I like making job lists for the children. Apparently Julia does too:
On the left, she listed a job for each of her siblings. On the right is how she told me they would react to their assigned job.
The four children and I had a discussion today about resistance. There are some things in life that approaching with an attitude of resistance will serve us well. But, I think, those are very few. When we feel resistant, we have access to adrenaline that will serve us well if we are being physically attacked. But, again, those situations are hopefully very few.
I shared with them a few examples of times when resistance is where our lower brains will want to go to, when we aren’t actually in any danger or in any need of real resistance – we will need to manage those lower brains. Will it serve me to resist these things:
- I have a household chore to do that I don’t like
- I have a math assignment to finish
- I am cold (Ella thought of this one)
- I am sick
- There are vegetables on my pizza (Jono’s contribution, of course)
Can we make a change, without the feeling of the urgency or intensity of “resistance”? Sure. Take the vegetables off your pizza. Jono doesn’t need to get up in arms about it – take the urgency out of the situation. Just pick the vegetables off. Done.
Negotiate with your sibling to help you finish that household chore, or switch chores with them all together. Or talk honestly with mom or dad about the undesirable chore.
It doesn’t take resistance. In fact, in most cases, resistance won’t serve you or your cause well.
How about me?
Do I ever feel resistance toward the children – do I resist “what is”? Their personalities, their weaknesses, even their strengths?
“It’s about meeting a human where they are at, without expectation.”