DAY #364 NEXT TIME I WILL (again)

BROOKE SNOW THE PODCAST – Episode 80

In yesterday’s post, we talked about the three elements of creation: SEE, SAY, FEEL. And how to use these elements to create change or turn-around in our lives.

What if I get good at these things – I get good at using these elements to make desired changes in my life and to move forward – but then I lapse and old patterns surface?

“What do you do then? What can you do in those moments?

… I have a vision of my future self, and then I align my actions to support it. But what about the moments I act out of alignment? What about the moments I revert back to my old ways? Does that mean that this new identity that I am trying on is not true?”

These moments are critical to our growth! And we can act in one of two ways:

ONE. You can shame yourself and beat yourself up for messing up.

“If you do this, you will imprint your old identity… Doing this will create an imagine in your mind that you are … not who you want to be … you failed.”

TWO. Or you can look at yourself and look at what happened, and you can, gently and firmly, say: Next time I will __________________________.

• Next time I will listen to my body
• Next time I will just hug my child
• Next time I will listen with compassion and curiosity
• Next time I will invite her to join us
• Next time I will honor my commitment

And I can teach my children to do this same thing. When they lose a privilege for not finishing their job, instead of shaming them, ask, “Next time what can you do to get your job done in time?” When Ella makes herself a to-do list too long to handle, instead of taking items off the list for her, ask, “Next time how can you get the help you need to get through your most important items?” When Liam, discouraged, walks the rest of his XC race, instead of yelling for him to run run run, ask after the meet, “Next time what do you need to do to keep going?” When Jono sleeps in and doesn’t catch a ride to the ranch in the morning, ask, “Next time what can you do to get yourself out of bed on time?”

“Getting off track is just part of life – it’s part of learning by experience! But what you say in those moments will either imprint the negative self-image, or imprint the positive.”

What is the positive self-image I have of myself? Do I know? Do I have that future self in my mind? Do I know her? Would I recognize her? It is imperative to our progress to have a vision of our future self, a relationship with our future self. Who is she? Where does she spend her energy and time? How would she have acting in that situation?

And this takes some thoughtwork – thoughtwork I have been doin since Brooke Castillo introduced me to the idea of a relationship with my future self.

“I get so much wisdom from my future self … I spent a lot of time 10 years ago having a relationship with my future self and that’s who I am now. I am my future self to myself 10 years ago … I feel like I already know me because I already have a relationship with me. It’s amazing.”

Brooke Castillo

I wrote a meditation for myself, to create that image of my future self, in my mind. To tap into her – future me – sometimes many times a day.

I can start becoming who it is that I want to be in this moment by simply imagining who it is that I am in the future, and by reaching out to her and by utilizing her. Who is she? Who is future me?

I am a child of God. I am a peacemaker. I am wise. I am inspired. I am in control of myself. I am trustworthy. I am intentional. I am a safe place for others. I am a magnificent being of grace and light. 100% of the relationships in my life are positive.

“Then, from that place, write a letter to yourself now. What would you say to yourself now. Take your time.”

_____________________________________________________

Dear Rachel,

First. Thank you. Thank you for doing the work that you are doing, right now? Thank you for the education. Thank you for the experiences. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for not giving up, not giving in to despair and hopelessness. Thank you for not entertaining mediocrity. Thank you for holding it together long enough to see light.

Now. A bit of counsel. Go for it! Don’t slow down! Don’t sit it out! Don’t treat yourself and your body and you future as less than anything but a literal child of Deity.

I want you to eat a doughnut. But only the BEST doughnut you can get your hands on! I want you to sleep 8 hours, every night. I want you to exercise, with love and patience for your body and for your soul. I want you to go to church because you love God – actively seek God in the chapel and in the words spoken in the chapel.

Start every morning with prayer – every morning.

Start every conversation with compassion and a desire to understand – ever conversation.

Surround yourself with the kindest, wisest, most courageous people you know. Saturate your life with dreamers and doers, the lovers and the creators. The curious and the faithful, the brightest stars in the world.

Don’t act out of fear – fear of embarrassment, fear of failure, fear of criticism, fear of rejection, fear of ambition. Act only out of inspiration and love and light and hope.

There is more beauty, more love, more “success” to be had in your life than you can even imagine!

Yours, most devotedly,

Rachel